Sometimes as a parent, it seems like everyone else has it all and does it all with their children in tow. Often it’s nearly impossible to finish your to do list and extra projects seem completely unobtainable, like a dream that can never be caught. How then, do those people we all see doing it all do it?

For the past 2 1/2 years I’ve been asking myself how other people do so much, but I can’t seem to get out the door on time with two shoes let alone put on make-up or have my hair done. I see other women doing it all. They look amazing, they do activities with their kids, have a side business, do date nights, take great vacations and manage to keep it all together while being amazing moms. Or so it seems. Lately I’ve been doing some meditating and I guess you could call it research on this whole idea and what I’ve decided is this. 1. Doing it all is garbage and fake and no one really is that amazing that they can truly balance everything in life while looking gorgeous and being a good parent… somethings always got to give. 2. It’s possible to do a lot with a little it of organization and the will to just get started.

Recently, I have decided to just do things. Forever I’ve planned on making my daughter a blankie with her name on it (just a keepsake I’ve made for other children when they were born and I wanted to make one for her too). For months I’ve had a plan in my mind, I’ve had the tools. I made a spot in our tiny townhouse to sew.Everything has been in place, but for some reason the sewing was not happening. I realized it was my mindset. I continuously dream up these projects or plans, but I allow them to be just out of reach as with the blanket project. However, when I finally just told myself “I am sitting down to do this” I did it. I didn’t let the fact that it wasn’t nap time or that I had a basket of laundry to fold get in my way. I just decided I was going to at least sit down and try and before I knew it, the entire front of her blanket was complete.

As I sat there sewing with my daughter on my lap or later sewing while I watched her drive a toy trolly around and have pretend conversations with the passengers I realized I have been my own roadblock. So for all those moms out there who wonder “how does SHE do it all,” I’m here to tell you that whoever that “SHE” is, she probably has the same struggles as you, but has figures out to just get started. Even if you have an infant at your side, or a toddler who insists on being in your lap, JUST GET STARTED. It may take a few times of sitting down before you can even make way on a project, but it feels way better to at least try then to let your dreams and ideas pass before you. Here are a few ways anyone (even really busy working parents) can get started.

1. Make a list of the things you want to do. It’s really important to know what you want to do if you’re going to actually do them. Writing them down transforms ideas from just dreams into projects you will do.
2. Choose ONE project at a time. Having more than one project going at a time can be a huge recipe for failure and creates a mess of half-done things. Pick one and finish it, then move on to the next. You’ll be surprised how fast you can finish things when your focus is centered.
3. Once you know what you’ll do plan out how you’ll get it done and gather materials if needed. For example if you’re do a craft or sewing project come up with a plan and know exactly what you’ll need by finding instructions or a pattern. Then gather any needed materials you already own and put them all in one spot (I like using little baskets from the dollar store, which I already own, but anything could work). Next make a list of any items you still need to collect and work getting them into your normal routine. If I need something from Michaels I’ve learned to just run in (even if I have to get my daughter out of the car an extra time) while I’m out and about already. If I plan a special trip I end up taking forever dreaming about projects and craft supplies when really I need to just run in and get what I need so I actually have time to do the project (maybe that’s just me though).
4. Get started in a kid friendly workspace. At first I thought the last place I’d want to sew was in the play room. Then I realized the playroom was the only place I’d get anything done, because my daughter would be able to entertain herself if she wasn’t “helping” me. I will note, when sewing, I try to get the cutting done when I can be alone and be very careful to store anything that is potentially unsafe out of reach. Also take them time to talk to your children (even toddlers) about tools that are unsafe for them to use. 
5. Let your kids “help.” I’ve realized that the reason I love to make things and know many things about life that I didn’t learn at school is because my parents were always busy doing things and they always had room for helpers. Now only will your children enjoy seeing what you’re doing, they will learn new vocabulary, strengthen their ability to follow directions and sequence events and best of all you will get to bond with your children in a whole new way. Side note: Little helpers make things a little more interesting and a lot  more wonky. Mistakes will happen and when they do, take a deep breath and let it go.

I’ve also realized that talking to other parents really helps, I mean deep, real conversations not just surface level, keeping up with the Joneses garbage. When I actually have a true conversation, (not just small talk) with other parents I realize that like mine, their lives are tough. Kids are tough and although at times we may all look like we live glamorous lives and can do it all, the reality is that there has to be a balance and sometimes to get one thing done, another must wait and that is okay.